Twists & Turns
by Danym
Summary: Grissom agrees to go out with Sara, but when she overhears a conversation she panics. [GSR]


Twists & Turns

By Dany

Summary: Grissom agrees to go out with Sara, but when she overhears a conversation she panics.

A/N: This is an alternate ending for PwF. I know there are a lot of them, but I will just add one more. And I hope that I can distinguish myself.  
It's the result of a discussion about the 'age gap' at YTDaW. Thanks to everyone who gave me input on this and sorry I'm so late, but I completely forgot about this.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

xxxxx

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Grissom's eyebrows rose. He hadn't seen this one coming.

Why did she always have to throw these lines at him?

Should he dodge them or catch them?

He stared at her wondering what to do. As a sign of his nervousness his hands twitched and the Rolodex card dug into his right one.

He had an appointment; he couldn't say yes.

He was losing his hearing, he couldn't say "Yes!"

Her eyes, which had been dull after the explosion, lit up and a smile spread over her whole face. Her smile almost made him forget that he had wanted to say no, but only almost.

He had an appointment. But that wouldn't take the whole day. It's just going to take an hour, maybe two.

Yes.

He was losing his hearing. All the more reason to take this chance. He might never hear her voice again.

Yes.

"I would like to have dinner with you. But…" The flame in her eyes flickered, her fear of rejection visible to him. "We have to make it real dinner time. I have an appointment this morning."

He could see the light grow again and she nodded her head in acceptance of his schedule. "Ok, uhm, how about six?"

That would give him enough time to clear everything up at the doctor's. "Should I pick you up, or meet you somewhere?"

He wasn't sure if she considered this just a dinner or a date. And what about himself? Was this dinner or a date?

Maybe it would be better if it were only dinner, since he had already too much on his mind, but the way both of them were acting – shy, hesitant and insecure – indicated they were talking about a date. "Whatever you want."

Sara didn't seem to fare much better, because she swayed a bit moving from one foot to the other. "I'll pick you up? At six?"

She smiled once more before vanishing with a "See you later."

Grissom stared after her, for once his mind gave him a break and he let himself be exited about the evening.

xxxxx

When Sara walked to her car she felt elated. She had finally done it. She had asked Gil Grissom out… and he had said yes.

For years she had wanted to ask him. But up until now their friendship had been more important, so she waited, thinking they had time. Just before the explosion she had let it slide, because she thought there was always tomorrow.

Now she knew better. She had been reminded that life can change in seconds. Of course she had _known_ that before, something this job brought with it, but you needed to be confronted with it yourself to really _know_ it. The explosion and the incident at the suspect's house had shaken her awake.

And then there he was. And he had said _yes_!

She was just about to step outside into the lot when something made her pause.

Just outside the door she could hear voices. "I swear, I saw it. Just before the big bang." Sara recognized the voice as one of the lab techs who was jumping shifts. She didn't remember his name, but she knew his voice.

"Really?" Hodges. Ugh. "Does she think that will earn her some big points with the boss?"

"Probably. But I don't think he goes for a subordinate, especially someone as young as her."

"Yeah, but what if he's in his midlife crisis or something?"

Sara feared that she knew who they were talking about.

"Then he would not pick her. She's young enough to be his daughter. He would be stupid to risk it all."

"I saw them outside when she was hurt and he was just treating her like a little child."

Tears were welling up in her eyes. The carelessly thrown words cut her deep. Did Grissom really think of her as a daughter?

The fact that he was fifteen years older didn't matter to her. Sure, back when they met in college the issue had made her mind work, but she had thought it through and came to the result that they were both adults and fifteen years where not _that _much. She firmly believed that now, but what about Grissom? Did he think it was too big of a gap?

Her thoughts were disturbed when she heard footsteps behind her. Quickly she turned to the right and hid behind the reception desk.

xxxxx

Grissom walked past her, as so often totally lost in his own world. He noticed neither her nor the two rabble-rowers. Without looking up he reached his car and left the lot.

Sara remained behind the desk waiting for the lab techs to leave. Obviously Grissom's presence had put an end to their discussion and they went back inside. When the coast was clear she emerged from her hiding place.

The stinging words followed her all the way home, where she collapsed on the couch. She was exhausted, tears still pooling in her eyes and her head swirling in confusion.

How did they know? Was she really that obvious? And more important, did Grissom think that?

Grissom! They were going to have dinner tonight. No matter what he was really thinking he had agreed to dinner.

But… what dinner? They hadn't talked about where they wanted to go.

In her current condition she would not be able to go anywhere. If Grissom said one wrong word she was likely to start crying. To have that happening in a restaurant would be more than humiliating.

Following her thoughts she picked up her phone to tell Grissom the dinner was off. She pressed speed dial #1, but before the numbers were through she hung up again.

Had she already forgotten her resolve to not waste anymore time? She needed to know if they ever had a chance. That was why she had asked him in the first place. She needed to ask him and she would not be able to do that outside the privacy of their homes.

With renewed strength she heaved herself off the couch, deciding she needed to go shopping.

xxxxx

The appointment went rather well for Grissom. His hearing had not yet deteriorated to the point where nothing could be done anymore. He was ready for surgery and a date was set for next Tuesday.

But he didn't really know how to feel about that. For so long he had tried to pretend there was no problem and now he had a written down surgery date.

While the thought of such a procedure made him uncomfortable, he feared the decision. The surgery would tip the scales and it could be either way.

How would he react if it was successful? How would he react if it wasn't?

How would the others react… Sara?

The dinner this evening brought up similar mixed feelings. Spending time with Sara was – had been – exiting and relaxing at the same time. It was probably their alikeness.

Had been… since his hearing had gone down the drain he had retreated even further into his shell. It made him edgy and unpredictable and so he chose to stay clear of other people, especially Sara.

While Catherine could see that something was wrong she couldn't discern what it was. Sara, though, had the ability to look beyond. She would find out if she put her mind to it. This retreating had caused a rift between them, maybe even a bigger one than the whole fiasco with Hank.

Thinking about to night again, he also feared their conversation. What would they talk about? What did he want them to talk about? Would tonight have the same effect as the surgery, that a decision was made in their relationship?

He had often wondered how it would be to have someone like Sara in his life, not as a colleague or even a friend, but as a partner. That would mean opening up and in former relationships he had never let it come that far or even considered it.

But Sara made him wonder.

xxxxx

Sara simply hated shopping, groceries included. And today it was even worse.

She was just picking out zucchini for a vegetarian lasagna she wanted to make when a middle-aged couple turned the corner arguing loudly. "I can't believe he's doing that," the woman exclaimed gesturing wildly with her arms.

"Hm," the man agreed. "I don't understand it either. I mean when he was first dating she must have still been in diapers and now…" He shook his head and followed what seemed to be his wife over to the fruit assortment.

Sara didn't want to listen and tried to concentrate on getting her ingredients, but they were hard to overhear. She wondered if the whole world was conspiring against her. The couple went on and on, talking about their friend and his 'inappropriate date'.

Finally she couldn't stand it any longer and threw the last pieces of vegetable into her cart and stormed away.

She thought she had successfully tuned their words out when she heard a familiar voice call her name. She lifted her head and saw Nick headed towards her.

The young Texan smiled at her. "I didn't know you shopped here too."

She was not in the mood to chat, but she didn't want to let her frustration out on him, so she tried to smile back.

"Wow, so much food." Nick was peering into her cart, studying the contents. "Hot date? Romantic dinner?"

Right at that moment, she just wanted to hit him. What was wrong with the guy? First he couldn't keep his mouth shut with Hank and now he snooped around in her private life again.

"The new addition the police department? That's a load of nice young meat." He didn't see the smile vanish and a new, more deadly expression taking its place. "It's good that you're no longer hung up on old stuff and…"

Before Nick knew what happened, Sara had pushed past him. She had chosen to leave him standing there before she would do something she regretted, because right now she was scared, confused, hurt and angry.

Nick never came after her, which was good for his health. If he had, he would have been able to see tears streaming down her face.

xxxxx

At exactly six, a knock woke Sara from her fretful sleep.

She sat up disoriented, wondering where the noise was coming from. Only slowly awareness returned and when the knock sounded again she realized she was supposed to open the door. She heaved herself off the bed and trudged to the door.

Opening it, she saw Grissom standing outside smiling at her, all prepared for a nice evening out. But the smile rapidly turned into a frown when he saw her.

Her clothes were the ones she had worn to work, but now all wrinkled. Her hair was a mess, the strands falling wildly into her face, and her eyes were puffy and red.

"Sara?" He reached out to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. His touch led her back to the present and made her really _see_ him.

"Oh god," she groaned, "what are you doing here?" Her mortification was evident. Not only had he come here and seen her like this, but he had come here to have dinner.

He softly pushed her back entering her apartment and shut the door behind him. "Sara, what happened?"

She pulled away and walked into her small kitchen area to get a glass of water. Her throat was dry and sore from all the crying. The grocery bags had been dumped on the counter carelessly. She had been too tired and depressed to care. Fighting her tears she had barely made it home before the emotions took over and when she had entered her sanctuary she had just dumped the bags and retreated to her bedroom. She had cried herself to sleep not caring that she some of the groceries needed cooling or that she was still in her work clothes.

"Why are you here if you don't mean it?" She meant to sound angry, but it was no more than a whisper with a resigned quality to it. Her head was cast downward so she couldn't see his reaction nor did she know whether he had heard her at all.

He had. "Sara, what are you talking about?" He was now standing right beside her touching her again and she couldn't stand it.

"Leave! I don't need your pity." She shrugged his hands off and pushed past him to retreat into her bedroom.

The door slammed shut behind her and Grissom was left confused in the kitchen.

xxxxx

Grissom still didn't know what had happened to change Sara's mood so drastically. And what was she talking about? 'If you don't mean it'.

He was not going to get answers if he left, so he moved to her bedroom and knocked. "Sara, please talk to me." When she didn't answer he took a deep breath and entered.

She lay face down on the bed and he could see her shoulders shaking. It broke his heart to see her cry. He wanted to reach out to her and ease her pain, but something held him back. What had he done to hurt her? He needed to find out.

"Sara," he sat down beside her on the bed, but didn't dare to touch her. "Please tell me what's wrong."

When she didn't move or speak her did reach out and let his hand grace her hair. "I came here to take you to dinner and now you're crying."

Slowly Sara turned to her side, now finally facing him, but she didn't utter a word. She just stared at him, the tears streaming down her face.

"What did I do?" The lump in his stomach grew. More and more he started to believe that it was really something he had done.

"You're not going to date me because I'm just a kid to you."

These words took some time to sink in, but when they had fully registered he gasped. "What?"

Sara turned away again hiding her face. "I'm too young for you," she mumbled into the pillow.

"How… where… where did you get that idea?" He had to remind himself to take deep breaths to remain calm and not raise his voice. He didn't want to yell at her. That would get them nowhere.

Her answer was swallowed by the pillow, when she refused to meet his eyes. "Would you please look at me so we can talk?"

She lifted her head a little bit and sighed, "Leave me alone!" Then her head went back into the pillow, so deep that Grissom was afraid she would suffocate.

He took her by the shoulders and pulled her up, turning her to face him. "Talk. Now!"

When she still wouldn't look at him, his voice turned more forceful. "Sara!"

And then she finally met his eyes.

xxxxx

As she looked into his eyes, she could not detect anger as suspected, but rather pain. She had hurt him with her words and her dismissive behavior; she realized that now. "Ok, let's talk."

She sat up properly and waited for him to speak.

"Why would you think that… that I think of you as a child?" Some form of repulsion showed on his face at that thought and she felt even more ashamed now.

"I just… they said…" She was confused, not knowing what to believe anymore.

"Who said what? And what is this about you being too young for me?" She didn't want to break down crying again so she swallowed hard, but she really wanted to clear this up. And so she told him everything. From the two gossipmongers to Nick's stupid remarks. She told him how hurt she had been at those words and how she hadn't wanted to believe it, but it had been so hard.

Now that everything was out reason returned and she wondered why she had put so much weight on these words. They seemed to pale in regard to Grissom's warm touch.

"Sara, why would you believe them? Why didn't you ask me if you have doubts?" His hand slid up her arm from her wrist in a slow motion.

Their eyes held each other and she took comfort in his calm and soothing gaze. "Maybe because you never talk about what you do and what you like in your private life."

She sighed knowing that there was no other way, but to tell it all. "Maybe I was scared that you would confirm it."

Silence reigned after that and Sara was afraid that Grissom was thinking of a way to let her down gently. She began worrying her lower lip with her teeth, her hands fidgeted with the bed sheets and she couldn't bear to look at him.

xxxxx

The silence seemed unbearably long to her. She fought with herself not to let any more tears fall. Grissom took his time, not giving her the slightest idea what he was thinking.

But when he finally responded, Sara was ready to run, not caring if this was her home. He shifted to be able to fully face her and she jumped at his movement. "Sara," his calm voice made her settle again. "That is not what I'm having trouble with. I know that a lot of people like to look down on something that does not fit their conservative worldview. But why listen to them? If it's a problem for you then I understand. But don't let yourself be influenced by them."

His words made her breathe easier, but she had also heard that something was bothering him. Was he talking about work?

He continued oblivious to her quiet question. "Honestly, back when we met, age mattered to me. You were such a young student, _my_ student. But now… I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore. I know you're old enough to make your own decisions."

Her heart sang when she heard that they shared the same view on the matter. That would help them develop a relationship… if he didn't withdraw because of the other 'trouble'. "What then _is_ holding you back?"

She saw him swallowing and licking his lips – both sure signs that he was nervous. "I… I have surgery on Tuesday to correct my hearing. I have otosclerosis."

Pain shot through her as her mind processed the information she was given and the implications that swung with it. Surgery… hearing… otosclerosis…

Was that the reason he was so reluctant?

Her heart felt with him, for everything he'd had to go through to hide the deficiency. "It's hereditary and progressing"

He delivered these facts with so much pain and longing that it made her reach out to him. It was now her turn to offer him comfort.

xxxxx

Sara had taken it extremely well. She hadn't judged him or been angry with him for not telling her.

Did she know that his worst fear was that she couldn't live with a threatening cloud hanging over them?

And when she reached out to him, he felt hope rising – hope that it would work out.

"I'll be there." Her strong words cut through his thoughts.

Their eyes met again and he saw the truth in hers. She would be there for surgery, but she would also be there no matter what.

Sara would stay.

And that was everything he needed to believe.

Talk, they could later. He leaned into her slowly, making sure not to startle her. About and inch before their lips touched he stopped, hesitating again, so it was her who bridged the final distance.

Their lips met and the last doubts about the depth of her dedication dissolved. Sara was not someone to take commitment lightly.

When the kiss deepened all thoughts fled his mind and he focused solely on the woman in his arms. The sensations flooded his body, making it tingle all over.

They broke apart minutes later and looked at each other, neither daring to speak. But their eyes communicated nonetheless and in a mutual understanding they let go of each other to reposition. Sara slid down the headboard until her head touched the pillow while Grissom lay down next to her. He gathered her in his arms holding her tight.

As her face turned to his their lips met again. This time it was Grissom who took the last step.

And with every passing second it became clearer to him that this was what he wanted – had craved his whole life.

He could spent eternity like this.

The end


End file.
